Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is its own discipline and is also intrinsically tied to hypnosis. NLP originated in the early 1970s. It was co-created by Dr. Richard Bandler and John Grinder. Bandler was a student at the University of California, Santa Cruz, studying mathematics and computer science, while Grinder was an associate professor of linguistics. They came together to explore and model the communication and behavioral patterns of successful therapists, notably Fritz Perls (the founder of Gestalt therapy), Virginia Satir (a family therapist), and Milton H. Erickson (a prominent psychiatrist and psychotherapist, famous for his successful hypnosis results).
NLP: An Attitude, Methodology, Technology
The Society of Neuro-Linguistic Programming™ states that NLP is “an attitude … a methodology … an innovative technology enabling the practitioner to organize information and perceptions in ways that allow them to achieve results that were once inconceivable.”
Neuro: refers to the neurological processes and systems that underlie all human behavior and experience. It emphasizes the idea that our experiences are received, processed, and mediated through our sensory perceptions and nervous system.
Linguistic: pertains to language, including nonverbal communication systems, and how we use it to structure our thoughts and communicate with ourselves and others. It emphasizes the power of language in shaping our perceptions, interpretations, and behaviors. It involves the coding, ordering, and meaning of neural representations.
Programming: is derived from computer science and implies that we can reprogram or change the patterns of thinking, behavior, and communication that we have learned throughout our lives. It suggests that we have the ability to alter our responses and behaviors by understanding and modifying the patterns of thought and language we use to achieve specific desired outcomes.
When these concepts are combined, NLP explores the relationships between how we think (neuro), how we communicate (linguistic), and how we behave (programming). By understanding and modifying these patterns, individuals can improve communication (internal and in relationships), overcome limiting beliefs, and achieve personal and professional goals—and enjoy deep, sustained results.
Installing Strategies
Sounds intense, right? Much like hypnosis, as described on this page, an NLP session involves making my client as comfortable as possible while we delve into the change work at hand.
Keep this in mind:
Change the way you think, it changes how you feel and, therefore, changes what you’re capable of doing.
– Dr. Richard Bandler, Co-Founder of NLP
This statement highlights the connection between our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. In NLP, we focus on changing a client’s thoughts (cognition), which influences their emotions (feelings), and subsequent actions (behaviors). When you shift your thinking patterns in a more positive or constructive direction, it leads to different emotional responses and, ultimately, different behaviors.
The presumption is that you are sitting in my office because you want to change something about yourself, your life. And our aim is to reframe your perceptions—your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors with regard to your desired outcome. To do so, reframing helps to change the wiring in your brain that has, up until you complete your NLP session(s), been directing your default “programming.”
Typically, the default thinking/goals/desires people have are formed in the negative: “I can’t go through that horrible public speaking again.” “I don’t know why I am so misunderstood.” “I don’t want to lose the contract.” Imagine if your workmate, we’ll call him Joe, keeps focusing on “not losing the contract.” Well, he increases his chances of losing it. You see, his mind dismisses the negation in that statement, and the concept of “losing” remains front and center and influences his actions and reactions to any variables that play out while negotiating. You’ve probably heard him talk about how worried he is about the whole situation. And you probably walk away from the conversation a bit worried he is going to lose it, too. (If I told you not to think of the color orange, what color comes to mind?)
Clearly there are other factors involved in a negotiation that can impact the outcome; what is important here is that Joe’s thoughts, emotions, and actions are more aligned with worrying about losing, when they should be focused on closing the sale or winning the bid. When Joe makes this shift—think of it as retraining his brain—it will influence his emotions and behaviors, which can completely change the energy of the exchange between him and his customers and colleagues. It certainly empowers him to have more agency over his own actions and reactions.
The Structure of an NLP Session
I intrinsically use both NLP and hypnosis together, so a session—while they can vary in format, content, and approach at times—are structured very similarly in hypnosis and NLP. As shared on the hypnosis page, the structure of a session is generally as follows:
- We talk and explore what you want to change.
- You present your desired state—and we frame that in the positive.
- We assure and confirm that you are in control of the session—you will continue to hear my voice, you can speak while you are in trance, and while I use your frame of reference and words for the change you want, if, by chance, there are any suggestions that bump into your values, you simply reject them. Your unconscious mind knows you (is you!) and wants what is best for you.
- You then relax … deeply. And this part feels so good. It’s, in fact, why you are here.
- Once you have relaxed fully, I then work with your unconscious mind to help you attain the results you want to achieve. I am trained in many techniques, so have a variety of ways to help you.
- You’ll be the star in your own movie as I guide you through your session. You will enjoy seeing the enhanced version/vision of your new feelings, thoughts, and behaviors about your life. You will experience this profoundly.
- I gently guide you back to your waking state. And you awaken refreshed, invigorated, and ready to begin living your life. Will you change? Yes! Though you are still you, only better.
What Is Normal?
Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.
– Morticia Addams from The Addams Family
This little piece of wisdom is inherently affirming in that it helps us understand why we think, feel, and act as we do. Our perspective in any situation is derived from our experience in that given situation (or others like it). The presupposition is that our view of it is informed from past experiences. This, in turn, impacts how we approach a task or situation—in present time or when simply anticipating it. And whether we face it with confidence, joy, avoidance, anxiety … or a host of countless coping strategies and emotions.
So it may be “normal” for you to be afraid of the spider web, or the spider itself, but does a chaotic response help you remain clear headed in the face of chaos? Nope, it does not. The power of NLP lies in our ability to help you rewire that strategy to one that allows you cope and handle formerly disempowering situations with ease, calm, confidence, efficiency … whatever the resourced state is that you would like to experience when facing your personal spider webs.
Besting of the Worst of You
You can’t let the worst things that happen to you stop you from getting what you want. And if you do, that is nobody’s fault but yours.
– From Tiny Beautiful Things
We’ve all had bad days, faced tragedies, suffered loss, feared the unknown, been overwhelmed with challenges, experienced heartache, reeled with anxiety, felt victimized … the list goes on. With NLP, we can change the process by which we experience reality, so that whatever the content is, moving forward, you can handle the experience of it adeptly, ultimately getting the best of the worst of you.
In our discussion of hypnosis, we speak about how your brain and nervous system respond to reactions—whether past, current, or anticipating the future—as though they are experiencing them in the present moment, and that each time you replay this, you deepen the wiring in your brain to act and react the same in this and similar situations. And above on this page, we mention sensory perceptions in the “neuro” explanation.
In an NLP session, I guide you to access all your senses to help us understand how the circumstances of your situations (which you can keep private), create your current reactions to them: what you see, feel, hear, and sense when your reactions surface (as related to what you will be changing in a session). This allows you to change them so you will have new thoughts, feeling, and behaviors that form productive strategies by which you move forward in healthy, successful ways. This applies in all areas of your life: improving personal relationships, achieving career aspirations, creating a positive outlook, releasing old patterns and behaviors, attaining peak performance in sports, and so much more.
Ask yourself how much more time you want to spend spinning your brain, exhausting your body, reeling with anxiety—especially when you multiply that by how many minutes a day, hours a week, weeks in a month, months in a year … you see where this will lead you? As the Society of Neuro-Linguistic Programming™ says, “The resources an individual needs to effect a change are already within them.”
I’m here to help you recover your resources so you can be fully you, only better. Reach out for a consult to begin the process.